How to Wrap a Gift the Muggle Way
by mischiefmanaged123
Summary: Wrapping presents the muggle way isn't always a good idea...the marauders figure this out.
1. Lesson 1

I solemly swear I don't own Harry Potter. They are sooo awesome though! I'd but e…I got $72.50. Oh and I got the idea of How to….by ugh I don't know the author name or…ahhh! If you know tell me ! Oh and the wrapping presents idea is from Wrapping Presents by Inell13 .good story! So I guess I am not very original….

HoW tO wRaP a GiFt

By the Marauders

"You simple wave the wand and mutter a spell and your done," James pointed out

"No no no Jamsie poo. You have to do it the muggle way," grinned Sirius

"No way in hell am I doing it the muggle way Sirius!" replied James.

Remus watched them, it was another episode of Do it the Muggle Way by Sirius. And Why the Hell Do You Do it the Muggle Way When You Have a Wand By James. Highly amusing source of entertainment for a wizard without T.V.

"James you have to learn how to wrap the present the muggle way because it shows you care," Sirius explained.

"Well can't I wrap the present with my wand and write a sign that says I CARE!"

"Aww Jamsie poo you don't know the meaning of Christmas do you?"

"The meaning of Christmas is sooo obvious! Sheesh!"

"Good so you know why we have to wrap it this way then..right?"

"NO!"

"But I thought you said you knew the meaning of Christmas!"

"I do. It's about a whole lot of presents and good food and presents! Where does CARE come in?" moaned James.

:"Here I'll show you. Now we need a present of some sort. Why don't you bring in what you bought me," suggested Sirius.

"No can do mate. I got no idea where your present is."

"I am sure.."

"Nope no can do, And who said I agreed!"

"Aww James please. Pretty please with a cherry on top!"

"No…you cant make puppy eyes at me, you have an unfair advantage! OK FINE!"

"Don't you have a gift?"

"No. But I got the next best thing….." James whispered.

"NO I REFUSE!"

"Aww Remus please….tell him Sirius how important Christmas is."

"AWW MAN Sirius that puppy eye thing is not fair…...test, tomorrow. Essay ughhh fine!"

LESSON 1 **(wrapping misshaped loppy objects.)**

"Are you calling me loppy Sirius!"

"No I am calling you something that looks loppy!"

"Fine! Since I am not fit to be wrapped…find another dude who will let you wrap them!"

"You know what Remus, you have a very nice body, don't you agree prongs


	2. Cont Lesson 1

Before on How to Wrap a Gift…(how do u like my soap opera voice!)

(oh I don't Harry POtterr….sniffle I will buy him for $72.50…..

LESSON 1 **(wrapping misshaped loppy objects.)**

"_Are you calling me loppy Sirius!"_

"_No I am calling you something that looks loppy!"_

"_Fine! Since I am not fit to be wrapped…find another dude who will let you wrap them!"_

"_You know what Remus, you have a very nice body, don't you agree prongs,"_

"Of course Padfoot, I mean he has that rock hard body from lifting book everywhere. And his Bea-u-tiful hair….sigh. Your not loppy at all Moony, your gorgeous!"

"Okay, okay…..I mean if I really am that good-looking…"

"Of course Moony, I mean all the girls wont be able to resist! Right Prongs.."

"Not only girls…."

"AHHH Prongs I though you loved me..sniffle…you ditched me for Moony! The tragedy…I thought we were meant to be"

"AWW Padfoot…..BIGHUG!"

"NO PDA PRONGS, not in front of Remus…he might get jealous."

"Prongs"

"Yeah"

"Shut up"

"On with the Lesson…Okay, so when wrapping gorgeous bodies, you have to remember, they aren't perfectly shaped. I mean gorgeous bodies aren't like a square. So you choose a wrapping paper that goes well with the complexion."

"Oooooooooooh purple with orange polka dots,. Oooh they should move (the polka dots)!"

"PRONGS NO MAGIC!"

"Pink?"

"Bea-u-tiful. Now you must take the paper and roll it around Remus until everything is covered. It doesn't have to be perfect…his body makes for it. Then you cut it!"

"Remus!"

"No dweeb, the paper!"

"I OBJECT! James is going to murder me!"

"What makes you say that?" **James chucking the scissors at a piece of parchment**

"Ooooh pointy! OMG it's a lolly pop!"

"A lolly pop!"

"A lolly pop!"

"I am cutting Prongs!" **snip snip **"Now tape the paper to each other!"

"PAdfoot!"

"Yeah"

"Moony's Gone!"

**Muffled** "I am here dimwad!"

**Gasp** "He is in there! GOLY GEE WILLIKErS!"

"Now for the finishing touch!"

"Ooooooh a bow!" **smack, right of Remus's head**

"BEA-U-TIFUL PRONGS!"

"PADFOOT" **both Remus and James together**

"Shutup"

_Ooooooooh Review! MORE REVIEWS MORE CHAPTERS AND LONGER ONES! if u want em that is..._

_THANK YALL WHO REVIEWED BEFORE! I LUV U! i will try and make it funnier!_


	3. Lesson 2

AGHHHHHH finally I am continuing this story!

Before on HOW TO WRAP A GIFT THE MUGGLE WAY!

**Gasp** "He is in there! GOLY GEE WILLIKErS!"

"Now for the finishing touch!"

"Ooooooh a bow!" **smack, right of Remus's head**

"BEA-U-TIFUL PRONGS!"

"PADFOOT" **both Remus and James together**

"Shutup"

I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER **sniffle**

Lesson 2 **( How to Wrap thin, pointy, long objects)**

"Sirius I won't do it anymore!"

"Why not Remus! We need you!"

"Padfoot I agree. I am not wrapping Remus's uhhh thing."

"AND WHY NOT! EVERYONE HAS ONE!"

"Padfoot.. only guys have the thing"

"No Prongs everyone does!"

"YEAH SINCE WHEN!"

"REMUS! My mommy has one, my dad has one, except..I think my mums is a bit short…she slammed it in the door…serves her right! That batty women"

"And do tell how you know this!"

"Why Remus! I have seen it!"

"WHAT"

"And by golly so have you two!"

"WHEN WAS MY EYES SCARRED FOR LIFE!"

"Prongs don't talk about my mommy like that! Just because she is a bit mean, and crabby doesn't mean she doesn't have nice ones!"

"ONES! She has more than one!"

"DUH! So do you both!"

"Last time I checked I had only one PAdfoot! And Remus only has one too…right.."

"YES I DO!"

"No you don't!"

"AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW!"

"I saw them!"

"You..you saw them!"

"Yes! You show them to me all the time! They are very pretty!"

"WHEN HAVE I SHOWED THEM TO YOU?"

"Why Prongs jut yesterday! I needed to borrow one…I had just lost mine!"

"I didn't let you borrow them! And how can you take them off!"

"Prongs you glued them on! What a clever idea! That way I won't keep losing them! Remus did you think of that before!"

"Remus!"

"Yes James!"

"RUN!"

"NO James, Remus..come back! I just wanted to teach you guys how to wrap some quills!"

HAVE FUN! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW

I LUV YOU REVIEWERS!


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